Monday, October 20, 2014

The Shower Curtain

While visiting my mother in law in Georgia, she gave me a shower curtain set that matches my bathroom. Today I reluctantly hung it up, and I have to say, I like the results. It really is an improvement.

I took down my old shower curtain, the one that's been up for the past ten years or so, washed and folded it. Then I got a text from a friend who is looking for household items for their child, who is moving out and in need.

I thought of that shower curtain, the old one. It's still in excellent shape! You wouldn't think it was ten years old. But...well, there is a memory with that shower curtain, and I don't want to forget it.

It was ten years ago. I was shopping at JC Penney's with my dear friend and second mom, Sue. She was picking up things she needed, and often when she ran errands, I joined her. I think she enjoyed the company, and knew that getting out of the house for a while was good for me.

We came across the shower curtain section. They were buy one get one half off. She said, "Do you need a shower curtain?" I said, "No, I am good," while thinking of my current shower curtain. It was a crazy plastic liner with a fish pattern that my ex had picked out, bright blue with funky colors. I hated it, but it worked and was cheap. "Why don't you pick one out anyways?" she said. "They are on sale, and I'm going to get one."

I never would of considered Penney's to buy a shower curtain. I may have picked Wal-Mart, had I felt like splurging. Dollar stores were (and still are in most cases) my go-to because money was tight. I remember seeing the price tags and they were $23....so it was half that. I still thought that was a lot...I was used to the $1 dollar store kind. Honestly, at that time, the $5 plastic liners with metal rings on them gave me sticker shock! However, the fabric curtains were so appealing. I had never had one before, and I really hated the funky colored fish one that was currently hanging on my shower. I did pick one out; it was white with small red flowers on it. I thought it looked beautiful. The top and bottom were scalloped and it just looked very light and elegant. She took it, along with hers, and paid for both and then we left.

It's been on my shower ever since, through two apartments, and in this house. Well, until today.

When Adam noticed that I hung up the new curtain, he commented on how surprised he was that I did that. I replied, "Sometimes change is good." But do I really believe that? I don't know. I think about my friend Sue, who asked the question, "Do you NEED a shower curtain?" She was such a giver. Of course she knew I didn't NEED one....she knew I had one. But she wanted to give me one. And I know that she would be proud if I passed on this curtain to someone else who may not necessarily 'need' it (because they really are like a dollar at the dollar store!), but may enjoy it.

But I don't want to forget, you know? I don't want to forget the story, I don't want to lose the memories. And I fear that by giving away the curtain, that I'm giving away that memory.

I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do with the shower curtain. I'm praying for guidance and strength, and just going to continue to take things one day at a time. I'd like to say that I gave that curtain away, but I'm just not sure if I'm 'there' yet.

But maybe I won't be there until I do something like that?

UPDATE: I did offer the shower curtain to my friend. I didn't think about it, I just asked her on a whim, mainly because I knew that if I had stopped for a second to think about it, I would back out. And she said she didn't want it! LOL. All of that agony for nothing. Or maybe not for nothing. Maybe I had to wrestle with it to know where I am at, and where my heart is. For now, the shower curtain is folded and put away; maybe I'll add it to the donation pile, and maybe I'll hang onto it for a little while longer. At least now I know that if someone really needed something, even if I loved it, I could give it...and that is a good feeling.